I’m not purrfect.

I keep on blaming something or someone else for the miseries that befall on me, no matter how insignificant my so-called miseries are compare to that of the world’s. It’s my way of making myself relieved, when I think my miseries are weighing me down too much. What was it our highschool health teacher describe it? Oh. Right. Defense mechanism. And what I’m doing is called Psychological projection. See? I was listening to her class. However, I can’t recall anything that she said about the treatment to it.

So here I am, after two years of learning about that in her class, and feeling guilty about it as she said it, I’m still doing it. I keep on blaming others. I blame the weather. The non-functioning clock. The traffic, the noisy kids. The strict professor. Even my friends. The society. And one day, I found myself blaming God. Then I realized I should stop.

Who am I fooling? No one, but myself. At the end of that day, I would reflect and say “Hey, it’s my entire fault after all.” And this is where I would insert all the what if’s and if only’s.

It’s hard to take the blame right? To admit that you’re wrong without justifying what you are. We always find ourselves explaining, even when no one asks for our explanation. However, it’s very easy to accept that something good is down to us, privately though, to seem humble in some cases.

So what should I do? I don’t know. If only I could hire a life coach to tell what I should do, I would have hired one then. But to think, if ever there are life coaches, I wouldn’t follow them; instead, I’ll lead my own life. There are no life experts to be consulted to in order for us to answer these questions. I think it is us who are fully qualified to lead what we want to do in our lives. But it’s hard and confusing.

Maybe, I should start by admitting I am wrong, without saying “…I’m sorry, I’m just human, I’m not perfect”

So sorry. I was wrong.